Thursday, September 21, 2006

Aint Love Grand?

I have always wondered how people can opt for arranged marriage. To tie the knot to a person you only know through a few casual conversations has always seemed to me a very risky proposition. You never get to see the "real" person. Even if you arrange any meetings, wont the person be putting on a "show" , projecting only his / her positive self. For to show our negative side or vulnerabilities , we would have to really trust the other person - trust which can only be gained after years of bonding.

Thats not to say arranged marriages do not work - far from it. Most married couples I know personally have been "arranged and married" . And they have been successful as well. But I have a sneaking suspicion that these actually work because arranged marriages are usually "Union between families".So your whole family has a stake in guiding this experiment to a successful outcome.

No such familial pressures in love marriages. ( By love marriages , I do not mean the fell-in-love-at-first-sight kind of puppy love ). The kind of love Iam talking about assumes you know a person for years, so much so that at times, they seem to be just an extension of your own persona. No problems sharing your hopes and dreams, fears and worries with them. You feel as much comfortable talking with them as you do talking to yourself. You have nothing to hide from them and vice versa.

These are my feelings but what would I know - Iam not married, yet. Lets see if I sing a different tune after that.


Humma said...

Arranged marriage brings out the ability of oneself to love unconditionally.You start loving a person even before you know him/her and I think thats what the word 'love' means in its entirety and thats why such marriages are stable than the 'you-pick-you-marry' ones.Love marriages are resulted when he/she uses his/her selfish tastes to find the partner.(There are guys who gets their lover at an age too less to become selfish and choosy.This is not for them). Also its better to be in an arranged marriage knot than being in love for ever without marrying

Sachin R K said...

Humma...the last line hit where it hurts ;)