Pennu kanal ( a guy's perspective )

Let me start off by saying I have never been the "guy" in the hot seat.Personally I dont think I would have enjoyed it. But I have had lots of opportunities accompanying friends and cousins during their dates with destiny.So I had a real balcony seat view of the proceedings and can offer some dos and donts for the same:
1. Never go for the sweet dishes - I committed this blunder once and have been reminded of this ever since. Seems there is a code that partaking a sweet dish signifies acceptance. Since I was just one of the "baraatis" who was I to read the prospective groom's mind and wave the green flag?
2. Never confuse photos and addresses - This happened during one of my Gulf cousin's pre marriage seasons. He was on a mission to "see" 20 girls in 15 days. Disaster waiting to happen , anyone would have told him. I did anyway. Not that my "I told you so" made things any easier. What happened was we had the wrong photo when we went to this girl's house.So there was the girl all ready with our cuppa tea and we were still waiting for the "right" girl to come out. The rest I will leave to your imagination.
3. Shadowing the prospective bride - To avoid the uncomfortable situation of rejecting a girl based on her looks after the "pennu kanal" we hit upon this novel idea. We would work out the nearest bus stop to the girl's house and park our car there around the time she was supposed to come. This plan worked beautifully - except for one painful occasion when some "concerned citizens" mistook us for eveteasers. Luckily the car was in gear and we made good our escape. As a footnote , we did not try this out again.
4. Keep your mouth shut - If you are not "the guy" , put a sock in your mouth lest your foot gets in. During a "pennu kanal" , I realized that the girl in question was my junior in college. This enthused me so much that we went on talking till , after some time I realized there was an uncomfortable silence in the room. Remember Rule No 1 - "the guy" is the hero and no hero appreciates his sidekick stealing the show. The journey back after this incident wasnt very pleasant.
I could go on about guys who go for "pennu kanal" like shopping for a sari, never make up their minds ( "yes , she looks good in a sari but what about salwar kameez" ) , always finding fault ( "did you notice the way she stared at uncle sipping his tea" ) etc etc but let sleeping dogs lie.
For those of you lucky enough to get a girl who loves you , my heartiest congratulations. For the rest , my best wishes and heartfelt prayers.